Lauren van Vliet, author

The prophet Jeremiah often has to remind me that God has a plan for me, a plan for a future of hope, not harm (29:11). Lately, I’ve been asking God to share this plan by asking him to dream for me – not the random dreams I have while asleep (I don’t want ogres chasing me, or massive earwigs crawling around. I know, I have weird dreams), but the day dream-esque kind about what God wants for me (think Lizzie McGuire day dreaming about Ethan Kraft in class, but without Ethan). The dreams God gives are hazy. I don’t necessarily know how exactly they will work out. I just know I need to pursue them.

But recently, as I’ve asked for these dreams, I haven’t been listening.

I’m the spiritual equivalent of the kid who sticks their fingers in their ears and shouts when their parents say it’s time to leave/clean up/anything else they don’t like. It’s not that I don’t like the dreams, it’s that I don’t believe that they are possible. I shoot the dreams down before they even have a chance to take off.

Case-in-point: I was talking to my sister about one of the dreams. She offered to help by asking around on my behalf. I pointed out that it probably wouldn’t do any good, since she and I are connected to very different circles, and she lives on the opposite side of the country. Bang, dream down! Thankfully, I realized immediately what I was saying, and backtracked to say ‘yes, please ask around’.

Is it rude to spiritually put my fingers in my ears and yell? Yes. It is helpful? No.

What is helpful is to continue to dream. Right now, that takes a lot of work on my part. I often feel resigned to the way things are, but God’s dreams ask me to trust that the things I can’t see clearly right now, will in fact happen – it’s the very definition of faith in the letter to the Hebrews: “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not yet seen” (11:1).

I don’t have any profound ways of clinging to faith in the face of frustration and resignation. I simply try to continue to walk in the right direction. When taking a step forward is too much, I avoid taking a step backwards. Practically, this means talking about the dreams with trusted friends, family, and my spiritual director, to remind myself of the excitement and consolation they bring me. I also keep reminders around me: the dream-goals written down and hung around my apartment and scheduling reminders in my planner. It also means working on the dreams every day, even though it may feel hopeless right now.

Ultimately, how exactly the plan will unfold is for God to know, and share with me at the right time. In the mean time, I need to resist the urge to plug my ears and yell in disbelief.