Lauren van Vliet, author

At the beginning of October, about six months before my thirtieth birthday, I started a six month focus on four goals:

1. Mental/spiritual health
2. Physical health
3. Finances
4. Writing

Ultimately, the purpose was two-fold. First, these are practical things to help start my thirties off on the right foot. These benefits are already manifesting in many ways: I have more energy because I’ve worked out basically everyday since October 1 (I missed some time when I was sick in October, but I got right back to it when I got better). I’m generally eating better, and even when I overindulge in treats, it’s done intentionally. I haven’t been particularly consistent with the short form writing I wanted to do (namely this blog and weekly flash fiction on my Facebook page), but I don’t think I’ve taken my writing this seriously in my life – and I have some awesome friends who are really helping with that.

But there was a second reason for setting these goals, that had less to do with the goals themselves, and the timing of when I set them. I wanted something positive to focus on as my thirtieth birthday got closer. I knew there would be huge temptation to look at where I landed in life, and compare to what other people have or did, or worse: compare the reality to the ideal I developed in my head.

I am incredibly hard on myself, and this has happened before. I knew when temptation came around, it wouldn’t matter that I published two short-form pieces in my twenties, or that I completed two degrees, moved inter-provincially by myself (twice!).  All I would see is what ‘should’ have happened in my twenties: I should have published (at least one of) the (five!) novel manuscripts that I’m actively working on, I should have settled down, I should have taken better care of myself and my finances.

With these two purposes in mind, the biggest win of these first three months was not that I took some solid financial steps, or completed 90 workouts (and lost twenty inches in the process!), or even that I won NaNo (although all of these things are completely worth celebrating in their own right). The real win is that when the temptation came, I leaned into it – and I won.

I can sit by myself in Tim Horton’s on New Year’s Day and know with the deepest conviction possible that, while my life doesn’t look like I thought it might, it’s been so much better because it’s real. I got up this morning and stretched because I am now the person who exercises every day because she feels good when she does. I am the person who writes because it’s as natural as breathing. I am the person who loves to travel and explore, and refuses to settle because it’s easy. I lean into the tough stuff – because I know that I’ll win.

So here’s to an amazing new year, and new decade. There are some potentially scary things on the horizon – but there’s nothing wrong with being scared (as the new Star Wars movie reminded me yesterday), or being overwhelmed, or tempted. These are part of the human experience. But so is resting, picking yourself up when you’re ready, and kicking ass.

So here’s to another year (and decade) like that – full of real emotions, real struggles, and most importantly: real triumphs! (Cue epic music)